Ex- England captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet face the full consequences of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the 2003 championship side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast two weeks after learning he has the illness.
"There's a certain looking the future in the face and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the present time," he commented.
"This doesn't mean I am unaware of where it's heading. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, conversing alongside his wife Annie, states instead he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his present wellbeing, his family and planning ahead for when the illness worsens.
"Maybe that's surprise or possibly I handle situations in another way, and once I have the information, it's easier," he added.
First Signs
Moody found out he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After physical therapy failed to improve the problem, a series of scans indicated nerves in his brain and spinal cord had been compromised by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're appropriately very affected about it, but it's so strange because I sense that nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't experience ill. I don't feel sick
"My indications are very minor. I have some muscle wasting in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I remain competent to accomplishing all activities. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Illness Development
MND can develop swiftly.
According to the organization MND Association, the condition claims a 33% of people within a twelve months and more than half within two years of detection, as eating and breathing become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only slow deterioration.
"It's not me that I experience sorrow for," commented an emotional Moody.
"It's the sadness around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Family Effect
Talking from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with sentiment when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "This was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was rather upsetting," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the settee in tears, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog leapt across and commenced licking the drops off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody said the focus was being in the now.
"We have no solution and that is why you have to be so strongly concentrated on just welcoming and savoring everything now," he stated.
"According to Annie, we've been truly fortunate that the sole decision I made when I retired from playing was to allocate as much time with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those years back."
Sportsman Association
Professional sportspeople are excessively affected by MND, with investigations proposing the prevalence of the illness is up to six times elevated than in the general population.
It is believed that by restricting the oxygen available and causing injury to nerve cells, regular, strenuous exercise can activate the condition in those inherently genetically susceptible.
Rugby Career
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in honour of his fearless, unwavering approach to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a workout altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a training equipment and commenced participating in collisions.
After coming on as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the line-out in the decisive phase of play, setting a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning drop kick.
Backing Network
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a handful of other ex- colleagues about his diagnosis, but the remaining individuals will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the moment, just having that sort of love and acceptance that people are available is the crucial thing," he commented.
"This game is such a excellent community.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"Being able to call your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"To have done it for so extended a period with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I understand they will want to support in every way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
